Hi friends,
My mentee recently shared that she received great feedback from her manager — someone who is too busy to provide sufficient context or answer her questions.
She was left with a lot of ambiguity, but the challenge is an opportunity for her to demonstrate her value. She turned ambiguity into clarity.
How? Because she started treating her manager like a toddler, and that's how everything changed.
Think about it: A toddler gets distracted by every shiny object, has the attention span of a goldfish, and melts down when overwhelmed. Sound familiar?
Now, here is how to treat your toddler manager right:
1.Always Give Context (Because Their Brain Is Mush)
A child has limited attention and memory — so does your manager! When you email or meet with them, ALWAYS remind them where things were left last time and why you need to work on this.
"Hey Sarah, following up on our discussion about the churn model from last Tuesday. You mentioned wanting to see the impact on Q4 revenue projections..."
Don't assume they remember your previous conversation. They've had 47 meetings since then and their brain is basically scrambled eggs at this point.
2. Don't Ask Open Questions (They'll Choose Ice Cream for Dinner Every Time)
You don't ask a child "What do you want for dinner?" They'll demand ice cream or stare blankly and say "I don't know." Then when you finally give them something, they'll take one bite and decide they don't want it anymore. Cue the tantrum.
Your manager does the exact same thing! Ask "What should I prioritize?" and you'll get vague responses or complete silence. Then they'll change their mind next week and act like it was your idea.
Instead, offer structured choices: "I researched based on XYZ evidence. Here are 2 options with pros and cons." Even if they reject both, now you know what they don't want—and you've helped their overwhelmed brain think through what they actually do want.
3. Spoon-Feed Everything (Make It Baby-Food Soft)
Don't give a toddler food that's hard to chew — they'll spit it out and have an epic meltdown. Your manager will do the same with dense, complicated emails, except their meltdown looks like "Can we schedule a meeting to discuss this?"
Nobody wants that meeting.
Pre-digest information for them like you're making baby food:
Bold key dates and deliverables (make it pop!)
Use bullet points, not paragraph walls of doom
Add red arrows to screenshots (they literally don't know where to look)
Include charts directly in emails — never assume they'll click attachments
As a content creator, I knew email click rates are usually under 50%. Any extra step creates friction. Important chart? Screenshot that baby right into the email body!
The 3-3-1 Rule (Their Busy Brain Can't Handle More)
Just like a toddler can't remember a 10-step bedtime routine without losing their minds:
Maximum 3 key points (they won't remember more, trust me)
Maximum 3 questions (they won't answer them all anyway)
1 clear "so what" and next step per email
The Bottom Line (You're Now a Professional Manager Whisperer)
Your manager isn't trying to be difficult — they're overwhelmed and operating in pure survival mode. The data scientists who get promoted aren't necessarily the smartest coders or ML modelers. They're the ones who make their manager's life easier by communicating like seasoned parents who've mastered the art of toddler management.
Stop expecting your boss to be a mind reader. Start being their patient, strategic, slightly amused caregiver.
Are you tired of feeling like your great technical work goes unnoticed because you can't communicate effectively with leadership?
My mentee didn't just learn these "toddler management" skills overnight. We worked together on exactly these communication frameworks in my DS/ML Career Accelerator program. She now has templates for stakeholder updates, knows how to translate technical wins into business impact, and has mastered the art of managing up.
💫 I have spots for 5 data scientists who are committed to mastering stakeholder communication. If you're ready to get the recognition (and promotions) your work deserves, reply “toddler” and I’ll share the details with you.
Until next time,
Daliana